Ben Robinson/Channel 5 Meets Walken:

"A story I want to share..."

Yesterday we (the movie chart show) travelled down to Wales, more precisely a small village about 30 minutes drive from Cardiff, to an old miner's rehabilitation centre, situated in a bizarre old mansion built by a 19th-century philanthropist, to meet Christopher Walken...I was exhausted from the previous two days spent on the remote Isle of Man, somewhere north of Ireland, somewhere west of Liverpool, where we had been shooting a movie chart show special. Anyway, I digress. Back to Walken.

"I was tired and feeling quite surreal in general. We pulled up outside the location, the usual lorries and catering trucks clearly setting the scene. Then, as I got out of the vehicle, there he was. Unmistakable. Indefinable.

Inexplicable. Walken. His hair had been finely crafted and blow-dried into a magnificent bouffant/bubble of greying hair, rising up over his skull eight or nine inches high, and then curving perfectly (like the curve of the earth itself) down the back of his head. My sense of reality flickered, then wavered. His presence was hypnotising as he stood there in the icy winds of this Welsh valley, scowling at no one in particular, locked deep inside his character.

"He walked past me, and I averted my eyes from his gaze; just too much for a Walken fan to behold! He seemed vaguely curious about who we were, and what the hell we wanted inside his inner sanctum, his second home--the movie set. We proceeded inside this bizarre, gothic building, and met the publicity, the producers, the runners, d.o.p, hell we met everyone; and were made to feel very welcome. Lee Evans was also in the house, playing Walken's demented sidekick, and Brenda Blethyn too, pottering about the place cheerfully (she discovered the script and developed it for years before we arrived at this actual moment).

"About the story: PLOTS WITH A VIEW follows the exploits of two rival funeral parlour directors, played by Alfred Molina (the dude who dies first in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark') and Christopher Walken (no introduction needed). Molina is a conventional Welsh funeral director, competing with the new guy in town--FRANK FEATHERBED (Walken), an unconventional man who wants to put the 'fun back into funerals' with themed burials (complete with pink coffins, Las Vegas-style ceremonies, and multicoloured neon lighting). The resulting film looks like it's gonna be a whacky, bizarre comedy.

"The scene that I saw Walken act in was almost too much to bear: he was dressed in a black espionage outfit, complete with Batman-style utility belt and balaclava (which, bizarrely, was as bulbous on top as a rastafarian's woolly hat--I think Walken must have stuffed it with something to make it look even funnier!!) As I peeked through the door while he went about his crazy little manoeuvres (something about a compressed air canister, a plot to fake someone's death, some explosive devices, and Brenda Blethyn's lace curtains!?), I could hardly contain a fit of laughter, so I ducked away from the set and tried to compose myself...

"During the day we interviewed Brenda Blethyn, Alfred Molina, and the director (whose name escapes me). The unit publicist, Anne, was very uncertain about the probability that, after we had shlepped hundreds of miles into the Welsh valleys, we were actually going to be able to interview the great man himself. With our ban on actually filming him showed, this report was looking a little thin on the ground. The hours passed, but I kept a little faith and found a perfect, disused and dilapidated room, with a door opening on the far end and another gaping, dilapidated room beyond (nice depth of field!), and set up the camera, and waited...and waited.

"Lee Evans wasn't going to talk to us, as he had cut himself badly trying to clamber through a window, so that was another disappointment. Then, as we loitered on the stairs between takes, Anne the publicist ran up to me: 'Walken. Five minutes' time. Get ready.' To my total surprise, a girl-like shriek suddenly popped out of my mouth, I turned round to head for our interview room, and tripped up over the smoke-machine!

"My camera was ready. Everything was ready. And then, from afar, a door opened. The sound of feet, unmistakably staccato, unmistakably Walken's, came ominously toward us. I quickly zoomed the lens toward the doorway to get his entrance, and as I pulled focus, there he was, as if on cue! Now the next bit is something of a blur, but I distinctly remember trying to shake his hand, and he was not really interested, though he held his hand out nonetheless and offered a vague simulation of a handshake (which was Walken-esque in itself). He seemed distant, but intense, thinking about something, or maybe nothing. But as the interview commenced, he crackled into life. Tim, our reporter, was equally awestruck, but polite, and he'd certainly done his research.

"Walken seemed to like him, and with each new question he got a little bit more animated. And then, much to my enjoyment and delight, Tim brought up the subject of Walken's days in the circus (which I had told him about). The proceeding anecdote was pure Walken! 'One summer, a circus, single tent, rolled into town....The old lion-tamer took me under his wing....I had this one favourite old grey cat, Sheba, she loved me. She was like, a big dog. Anyway, we'd do this trick together....' I won't tell you the whole thing now, but it was priceless! And Walken even acted out the lion's movements and everything! What a guy! I think he enjoyed the interview. When it was finished, some 10 surreal minutes later, Walken stopped for a few photos and then sauntered off to his neon-lit funeral parlour, deep in the Welsh valleys...It had been a great day anyway, as I'm sure you'll agree...."

"... Apart from the news that I'm moving to L.A. in January to report on Hollywood for my show (!!), I was also treated to a very-early-indeed preview of some scenes from Walken's forthcoming 'Plots With A View', which we're reporting on in next week's show. Walken was on fire [in a sort of kitsch, slightly (on purpose) crap way] in a bizzaro song and dance number, which takes place at one of his character's themed Las Vegas-style funerals! Walken and his deranged Welsh sidekick (played by Lee Evans) were both dressed in sparkling gold blazers and boater hats, swinging canes as they sang a weird and whacky (and very upbeat) funeral song (the soundtrack was a temporary one and I'm sure I heard one of them sniggering between verses). As they sing, a pink coffin is raised up by hydraulics, revealing an old dead woman inside, wearing a feather boa and glamorous attire.

"In another scene, Walken questions a rival funeral director on his use of embalming preservatives, and he delivers this spiel in classic staccato Walken-speak, hovering over a dead body and thoroughly admiring its presentation--very funny!! A couple of other scenes revealed the love story at the heart of the film, between Alfred Molina and Brenda Blethyn, and another had Walken and Evans breaking into Alfred Molina's funeral parlour--also a very amusing scene!!"

The Movie Chart Show is on Channel 5 each Wednesday evening at 7 p.m., repeated the following Sunday morning. I keep taping it hopefully, but have so far not seen Chris.:-( Keep your eyes open and a tape handy! Courtesy of Walken Online News Number 21, 11/01.

The King of Newport, by Jonathan Carther

Meeting Christopher Walken on the set (click on pic to enlarge)

"Jesus, doesn't she look dead, huh?" says Christopher Walken as he looks at the old woman in the pink silk-lined coffin. "You got a towel?" he says to his assistant, taking off his gold-spangled jacket and top hat. "I'm getting kind of sweaty here." We're in a church in Newport, South Wales, filming a British Comedy called Plots With A View. It stars Brenda Blethyn and the inimitable Walken as Frank Fetherbed, an undertaker who's determined to put the "fun" back into funerals. Lee Evans is his sidekick, Delbert. The two of them have just been singing and dancing at the altar while the aforementioned coffin rises from its plinth, flanked by two showgirls. We're on a break while they chenage the lights.
It's hard work rising from the dead. The showgirls have retreated to a corner, their fake-tan faces indistinguishable against the teak panelling. They look like floating eyes. Mr. Walken, meanwhile, is sitting on one of the pews, observing. He seems tired. I ask him how he thinks it's all going. He looks at me "I've seen you around the set." There is a pause."It's going good," he says at least, fonding his silver- topped cane. "I'm almost done. I've been here a month."
He trails off into staccato sentences. "It's a funny movie. Good script.  The actors work hard. I was supposed to do it two years ago, then it got cancelled. " He looks over at the coffin and the Vaudeville trimmings. "But I guess, finally, we got it made."
So what's it like playing an undertaker? He laughs quietly to himself. "Nice, you know." He seems scary. "I'm pretty normal", he says, scarely "I just play those kind or parts a lot. Villains and stuff...though not  always." I tell him that I liked him as the decidedly invillainous Whitley Strieber in Communion. "I don't have too many people saw that movie," he says, surprised. "I made a lot of movies that not too many people saw. "Does he mind? "No,no. It's fine. I work."
"Ready to go again, Christopher?" asks the director, als Walken peers out from beneath the lights. The star gestures to his assistant. He looks pissed off. Someone has a video camera at the back of the church. The assistand nods at a security person and the interloper is escorted from the premises.
They obviously pickes the wrong time to visit God's house. They'll have to come back next week, when he's gone.....